Respiro Haud Magis
by ImmortalRoseOfTheThorns
Summary: Grief...loss...it kills...it burns...after a while...it just gets too much...you have to make it stop...make it end...character death. oneshot. READ AND REVIEW GIRL!HARRY


**HB; little oneshot I thought of when I saw a Youtube video. Pretty random. Only the character is connected (female Harry Potter from my crossover fic **_**Not Gonna Get US**_**) basically a female Harry story. NOTHING TO DO WITH THE ACTUAL FANFIC **_**NOT GONNA GET US**_**. NOT CONNECTED AT ALL. AS IN THINGS THAT APPEAR HERE ARE NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. I just wanted to press that point. ENJOY!**

**Also Inspired by **_**Postuta **_**by**_** Theodor Bastard**_**. Check it out if you want. Cant understand it but its good.**

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**Respiro Haud Magis**

Pale, white fingers, colour of porcelain, trailed the outline of the mirror. The condensation was swiped as the fingers moved across the glass. The faded image was cleared.

A woman barely out of her teens stared blankly at her own reflection. Her normally vibrant coal coloured hair, hung lank, almost dead around her shoulders. Her face, though pale, was pasty as if a disease had struck the woman, making her look older than her twenty-one years. Her eyes were a dull green, almost black, and looked hollow within her face.

She pulled at her loose nightgown staring down at her body, the cotton material soft beneath her fingertips. She stood barefoot, within her white and plain bathroom, squeezing her toes into the abandoned blue towel on the tiled floor.

She pulled her arms around her thin shivering self, and walked from the room, just as a loud ringing came from the living room. She froze, staring at the phone, buried beneath a few abandoned shirts. She refused to move, but remained staring at the phone, almost scared to answer.

"_Hi_!" she winced at the sound of her own happy voice. "_This is Juno Potter. I can't come to the phone right now. If you leave me a message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can_!" a loud resounding beep was heard, and another voice, female also was heard.

"_Juno? Are you there? … You probably are…probably standing there, pretending you aren't'_" the woman gulped, and the whining of a small child could be heard in the background. "_Ummm…. well we want to know how you are…I hope you are eating…" _she sighed. "_Juno…I know this is hard. It will take you so long to get over it. It might never heal properly but you really do need to try and heal-" _Juno ran forward, grabbed the phone like a woman possessed, and with a scream, threw it into the opposite wall. The phone smashed, pieces of metal falling over the carpet.

Juno shook and slid down the wall, drawing her knees beneath her. She trembled, clutching her clothes to herself. She clenched her eyes tightly closed, a single tear falling from beneath her translucent eyelids.

"My baby…"

* * *

_**It all started with a dance…**_

_Twenty-one. Single. And unemployed. Juno really didn't know why she was here when she should've been celebrating her birthday with Hermione. Or at least studying to become th Auror she dreamed to be._

_One of the seediest nightclubs in the city, 'Unknown', Juno had been dragged there by her twin brothers Fred and George, and her younger sister Ginny, as a way to cheer her up, for being depressed on her birthday. She had begged her friend Hermione to come, but as the baby had chicken pox, it was out of the question._

_So now, Juno was here, dressed in her tight leather trousers, and a loose black strapless top, dancing with a similarly dressed Ginny beside her, attracting the attention of probably every male within the vicinity, Fred and George not included. Her coal hair flew over her shoulders as she moved, and her calculating, seductive eyes skimmed over the men, never lingering, never caring._

_It was in the early hours of the morning of the 1__st__ of August that Juno found herself dancing alone. She frowned, glancing around through the sea of bodies that moved liquid like through the daze caused by the beating music, flashing lights and the sexual tension in the air, and spotted Ginny talking and obviously flirting with a dark haired man beside the bar. Rolling her eyes at her sisters ability to pull almost every male, Juno began to make her way over there, her protective instincts kicking in, until an arm snaked itself around her waist._

"_Going already, gorgeous?"_

_She froze, but almost relaxed instantly, the soft scent of comforting cologne wafted into her nostrils. She tilted her head back and looked into sparkling blue eyes._

"_Not yet" she hummed, seductively._

* * *

_**It was discovered with a test…**_

_Juno bit her nails with agitation, pacing the bathroom floor. Ginny rolled her eyes at her._

"_Calm down. You're making yourself agitated" Juno stared at her. Ginny was sitting on the counter beside the sink, twiddling with the ends of her fire like short hair._

"_I won't calm down. Not for another" she glanced at her watch "minute and twelve seconds" she continued her pacing, kicking off her slippers in annoyance, and felt glad when they hit the door with a thud, pushing it open. "And even then, I won't calm down"_

"_If its positive" Ginny stated._

_I paused. "If its positive"_

"_What will you do?" she asked._

"_I-I don't know" Juno stuttered. "That's it. My life is barely holding itself together. I mean, Voldemort died three years ago and my life is still shit. Ron is gone; Hermione is trying to cope with raising a three year old all by herself. None of us can really help her. I just passed my Auror training, I'm only just able to pay the rent here" she waved a hand aimlessly around the apartment she had lived in for the past two years. She looked back to her sister, whose eyes had begun to water at the mention of their elder brother. "What am I going to do if I'm having a baby?" she asked, her own eyes filling with tears._

_It had been six weeks. Six long gruelling, difficult weeks. She had been late for that long. Her encounter with the gorgeous blue-eyed Avi was still fresh in her mind. They had moved together almost like poetry, the most fulfilling, thrilling experience of her entire life. And she had left the next morning, in tears, not knowing anything about him, or his last name. _

_It had never occurred to her he could get her pregnant. It never occurred to her that she could ever be in this situation._

"_What you are going to do, Junie, is look at that test" Ginny began, pointing to the white stick upon the toilet seat. "You are going to see what it says, and whatever it is, you are going to grow up and deal with it. Now look!" she said in a much stronger voice. Hesitating slightly, Juno inched towards the toilet, and reluctantly picked up the stick. Ginny jumped off the counter and stood beside her, waiting expectantly, but Juno could tell from her trembling, she was just as concerned and terrified._

_Taking a deep breath, Juno turned the stick over. Shining, like a blue beacon within a range of light, the blue dot almost spoke. I'm here…I'm here…_

* * *

_**It was lost with a crash…**_

"_Are you ok with this, June-Bug?" Fred asked, concerned. "You can rest, if you want. Hermione will understadn" Juno raised her eyebrows at him._

"_Fred, just because my stomach had expanded to three times its normal size, doesn't mean I can't go to my goddaughters party" she explained, peeved off with him. He rolled his eyes. Juno smirked, and rubbed her ever-expanding stomach. It had been six whole months since her baby first began to grow. For three ultrasounds she had heard his heartbeat. His. Juno smiled more, placing both hands on her stomach, feeling the almost bubble like feeling of her son moving. She was having a son. James Sirius Potter._

"_Junie?" Ginny asked, holding out her hand. Juno grasped it firmly, and they began to walk down the street, towards Fred's new car. They had just left Juno's flat, ready to celebrate Ronnie's fourth birthday at the Burrow, all Weasley's and a few friends, sucha s Hagrid, invited. Fred had arrived to pick up Juno, and Ginny who had spent the night as Juno had had a frightening false labour, and offered to look after her._

_Juno sighed, adjusting the elastic band of her trousers. "I look like a watermelon," she announced, looking at her stomach, scowling._

"_No, you don't" Fred said, slinging an arm around her shoulders. "Hermione was a watermelon with Ronnie. I mean, I don't know how she snapped back into shape. Or how Ronnie was so small when she was born"_

_Ginny snorted. "Don't let Hermione hear you say that. She'll tear your eyes right out" Juno laughed, and opened the passenger door, while Ginny took the seat behind, and Fred the drivers seat._

_Juno adjusted the seatbelt over her belly, and Fred reversed the car out of the parking space._

"_I don't see why we cant just Apparate" Ginny voiced from the back seat._

"_Because it's a ten minute drive, and I puke every time we do," Juno explained. She winced as a particularly hard kick to her lower ribs. "Ouch…I' m gonna be a soccer mum"_

"_More like a Quidditch mum" Fred said, glancing out of the rear view mirror. "I don't care for soccer, and neither will my nephew" Juno hissed again, as James kicked her once more in the ribs._

"_June, are you-" fred began as he turned into the next lane._

_He didn't know. He didn't see the van. The van didn't see him. I heard it. I heard the clang of metal on metal. I heard Fred's swearing. I heard Ginny's screams. I felt pain. I felt blood. I cried. Then I felt nothing._

* * *

Juno pushed the door open, and found herself on the rooftop. The highest point in Ottery St Catchpole. She moved there. To be with the Weasley's' but not intrude, It was here where her family was. It was here her brother, Ron Weasley was buried. And beside him, her baby was buried.

Juno wrapped the white sheet around herself, the rising sun glaring sharply into her eyes, the wind blowing her from all directions. She closed her eyes, feeling the heat of the sun, and the chill and burn of the wind. She lazily drifted a hand, wincing at the icy touch, beneath her nightgown and felt the scars. The disfiguring scars across her left hand side. The ones that cut right through her stomach and half of her ribs.

Her baby died that day. His handprints and feet prints were on a piece of paper, buried within the chest pocket of her nightgown. Fred lost an eye that day. Ginny broke both of her legs. She still hadn't woken up from the coma, two months down the line.

Juno took steps, no longer hesitant as they had been so many times before, and she stepped closer and closer. She looked down to the streets below. Cars littered here and there, and in the distance, if she squinted she could see the Burrow.

They didn't understand. They would never understand. Hermione always said she died a little when Ron died. Juno died completely when James did.

Juno closed her eyes, and with a deep breath, she stepped forward.

Even when dying, they fall with grace. The sheet flew above the city, the wind carrying it far.

_**It was finished with a jump…**_

_**Respiro Haud Magis…To Breathe No More…**_

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**HB; REVIEW TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK. I personally don't really like it, but what are you going to do? I thought of it, and decided to share it.**


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